So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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