The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
