Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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