it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
