So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Randomize
