I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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