he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
