I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
