I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
