im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize