you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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