I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Four minutes until I can fart!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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