he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize