why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
