Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
