Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
