I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
