and you said cock pushups were impossible
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
