I want to stick my p in your. b.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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