just come out here and I will go home with you...
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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