when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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