New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We were destined to go to rehab together
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize