my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Are we still banned from the library?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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