Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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