My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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