I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
