Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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