Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
