whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
