Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
