I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
