Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
