The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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