If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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