Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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