I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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