I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
