The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
