I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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