I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
