What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
