16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
