i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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