she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
