If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
