I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize