My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
