i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize