If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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