farters have to be the big spoon...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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