Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I could fuck to npr.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
