You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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