Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I hate all girls vehemently.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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