i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
