Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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