My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
