No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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