If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
