What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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