this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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