that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
