Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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