Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
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