i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
