Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
