she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
