pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
