I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
