they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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