I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
