you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
