He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
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