I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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