Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
