I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize