please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
