U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
