Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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